Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we at heartworks are never going to make a slate plate. No, I’m simply saying that it’s hard to see a slate plate work in your mind’s eye.
The other day a man came into our workshop asking if we made slate plates. He had been up in Donegal the weekend before and in this fancy hotel restaurant had eaten his “juicy” (his words) steak off a slate plate. Now at this stage, here I was and Mauricio too wondering how you could possibly keep the juice that would come out of the steak on your plate. You see slate simply doesn’t curl upwards and because its to do with food you couldn’t possibly have a lip stuck all around the edges of the plate with glue (glue being highly toxic, if you get my meaning). I also couldn’t help thinking about the state of the table cloths in this fancy hotel restaurant. It doesn’t bear thinking about the amount of stains that must be on them. Then I started imagining how you could eat black beans with rice (my favourite dish)off of a slate plate. You would definitely have to make a wall with your rice and plonk the beans in the centre and hope that the rice kept the liquid contained.
So you see the predicament we’re in. We tend to make things that actually have a function. For example, our clocks are guaranteed to tell you the right time. Our mirrors don’t lie when you look into them, unfortunate for some, lucky for others. If we make a bookshelf, it can hold books or ornaments. You can play chess on our chess table. The pot stand will take the heat of the saucepan and not scorch the wood underneath. You can present cheese on our cheese boards. But a slate plate. Now we can’t vouch that it will do its job, nor can we guarantee that we will pay all the laundry bills for the forseeable future. They won’t come with a stain remover package thrown in.
If anyone can solve how to eat goulash or such things off a slate plate please let me know